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hIgIt pA sA bUhAy kO...

“Do you love or do you crush?” Haayyy!!! Nangungulit na naman si kuya Eric.Syempre mapapangiti lang ako. Kunwari hindi ko narinig.


“Mahal mo?” Pang ilang beses na ‘ ba ‘to natanong?


“Haayyy!!!” (ulit!)


Eto na naman ako parang sabit sa lakad ng barkada niya. Kelan kaya kami aalis na kaming dalawa lang? Not that I don’t like his friends… kaya lang we don’t have a chance to talk and catch up on each other’s lives. Para kasi kaming me mga fans na nanonood at sinusubaybayan lahat ng galaw namin. At ganito na lang palagi ang nangyayari… Palagi na lang akong nasa hotseat!


“Jovs, ano mahal mo?” Nakupo! Si Richie naman ngayon ang bumabanat. Patay na!


“Bakit hindi mo masagot? Ganyan talaga ang mga taga-PUP. Wala kasing canteen… hindi nananghalian… kaya hayan!


“Ako na naman ang nakita mo. Ano ba kasi yung pangalan nung taga-PUP na bumasted sa’yo?” Napapailing na tanong ko.


“Ano na nga Jovs? Do you love or do you crush?” Lasing na talaga si Kuya Eric. Ayaw akong tantanan.


“I only hate… I hate you!!! Kulit mo kasi!” Medyo halatang naaasar na ko sa mga tanong nila.


“Papaiyakin mo lang iyong kaibigan namin. Niloloko mo lang siya!”


Eto na naman sila pinaparatangan ako ng kung anu-ano. Feeling ko tuloy ang sama-sama kong tao. Ano bang gagawin ko para tumigil na sila? Hindi ko na tuloy siya matingnan. Baka magalit na siya. Medyo me pagkapikon pa naman siya. Ano kayang iniisip niya kapag tintanong ako ng barkada niya tapos hindi ako makasagot? Siya lang naman kasi ang iniisip ko.Baka magalit siya…


Bakit ba kasi kailangan nilang malaman? Minsan gusto ko nang sagutin kaya lang hindi naman iyon dapat pinag-uusapan ng ganon na lang. Para kasing tinatanong lang nila kung gusto ko bang kumain?


Ano naman kaya ang magiging reaksiyon niya kapag sinagot ko ‘yung tanong na ‘yon? Alam ko naman na matatakot siya. Baka layuan niya na ako. Saka gusto kong sagutin kapag siya na ‘yung nagtanong… siya lang naman ang may karapatan na makaalam ng sagot ko.


“E Mark, mahal mo ba?” Baling ni Kuya Eric sa kanya.


“HIGIT PA SA BUHAY KO!”

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my fUnErAl sOng

REMEMBER

by Christina Rossetti

Remember me when I am gone away,

Gone far away into the silent land;

When you can no more hold me by the hand,

Nor I half turn to go, yet turning stay.

Remember me when no more day by day

You tell me of our future that you plann'd:

Only remember me; you understand

It will be late to counsel then or pray.

Yet if you should forget me for a while

And afterwards remember, do not grieve:

For if the darkness and corruption leave

A vestige of the thoughts that once I had,

Better by far you should forget and smile

Than that you should remember and be sad.

 

I’m glad I was able to chance upon this video in youtube.


  Although it may sound morbid but I want this poem to be sung in my funeral.

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mAsAkIt sA hEArt... nAng mAtAlO Ang gInEbrA!

‘Masakit sa heart…’ We heard this line from one of Ginebra’s avid fan. Somehow, he was able to voice out our feelings that night…

It was Game 6 of the PBA Fiesta Cup Finals between Ginebra San Miguel and San Miguel Beer. The Ginkings were leading the series, 3-2.They only need one more win to grab the finals championship crown. All GSM fans were hoping that they will win that night. But luck was not on our side. SMB won the game and forced GSM to a Game 7.

“Asar Talo!”That’s exactly how we felt. We could not believe that we are going home losers. We thought that it will be the end of the series, that there’s no more Game 7. And like a sour-loser that we are, we won’t admit that our team got beaten so badly. We even think that the game was given in order to prolong the finals so that PBA will earn more. We are really sure that Ginebra is going to win the series. They just want to suspense us for a bit.

Game 7, as expected, was much awaited. Araneta Coliseum was full up to roof. Even the General Admission tickets wee sold out! More than twenty thousand people went to watch the final match between the leagues top two teams, which has the biggest followers. But the fact remains that ¾ of this crowd belongs to Baranggay Ginebra.

Everyone was expecting a close match between these two teams, the sibling rivalry that’s been going on for years. I even thought that there will be an overtime game or it will be a cardiac finish. But it didn’t turn out that way. During the 1st quarter it was already clear that it will not be an easy game for the Gins. While the Beermen made it look like that basketball was not that hard, the Gins were struggling. They could not even make easy shots. There are times that SMB will let them score, still the GSM were unable to convert! It seems that we are watching an amateur game, not a Finals championship!!!

But being a true blue Ginebra fan, the ‘Never Say Die’ spirit still prevail. We still hope that someone from the team will step up and turn the ball around. Someone who would start the run, make the shots and bring the team back on track. There are times that they will make a run, and you could hear the crowds cheering them on but then SMB will soon stop them. Luck was not on our side and so was the time. As the final buzzer went off, our chance for the championship crown was snatch in our hands. We just stood there and watched, confetti’s and balloons pouring down on us, while SMB players and fans rejoicing.

It was really a sad and heart-breaking loss for the Ginebra but San Miguel deserved the crown. They have the talents and the heart to win. Even their bench players can match up to the first five of the Kings. As for the Gins, I don’t know who is to blame… Maybe it was the coaching staff, maybe the players were not hungry enough for the championship title, maybe most key players were worried about their injuries, maybe their bench was not that deep. I’m just wondering if they would win the finals if Mark Caguioa played in the series or if Jaworski was the coach or if they have the complete line up just like what the Gordon’s Gins have before?

There are a lot of ‘maybe’s’ and ‘what if’s’ but one thing is for sure, the Ginebra spirit will live on… This was proven when they received the 2nd place award. We applauded them for the efforts and hard work they had shown and as if we have won the championship we started chanting ‘Ginebra! Ginebra!’. The ‘Never Say Die’ attitude of the Baranggay Ginebra will never waver. No matter what happens their fans will support them. Not because they are the best team in the league but because they are the best team in our hearts. Hoping that the next time they enter the finals we will be the one wearing the biggest smile while singing “We are the Champion” at the top of our lungs. Then you won’t see us heaving a deep breath, shaking our heads, holding our chest while saying… ‘Masakit sa heart…’

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Ginebra! Ginebra! Ginebra!

Just want to post these videos here…
These shows the ‘Never Say Die” attitude of the Ginebra team.


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rEcUpErAtIng frOm gAstrOentIrItIs

I’ve been sick for 11 days now. Last Friday I was even rush to the hospital because I was running a high fever. I was afraid that I might have a convulsion. My diarrhea started on Saturday. We were on our way from our weekend vacation in Pangasinan when my stomach starts to ache. I thought it was just normal. When I got home I headed straight to the toilet. I asked my Mom to mix me some coffee and buy me Loperamide. After that I again went to the john and this time I vomited. I didn’t think that it’s a symptom for my sickness. I thought it was just due to hangover ‘coz we have a lot to drink the previous night. So, I continue taking the medicines and Gatorade.

By Monday, I’ve learned that most of us who went to Pangasinan had/have LBM. Julie was still absent that day ‘coz she’s already running a fever. By Tuesday, my stomach was already doing fine. Or so I thought…
Wednesday, was my fave sis bday and my fave bro’s despidada so, as expected there’s lots of food. By midnight, I was again making my trips to the cr I took loperamide again the next day.

Friday morning I told my Mom to buy me Imodium because Lomotil has no effect on me. By Friday night I woke up with a fever and a chill. I don’t have any strength to stand up and call my Mom so I miscalled Joan’s number. When she came I asked her to get our Mom for me. I wanted some water and I want to ask her to rub my face with wet towel ‘coz I was feeling hot. When she felt my forehead I was burning with fever. She told me to get dress ‘coz she’s bringing me to the hospital. I was hoping that I could spend the night at home and if the next day I’m still not feeling well that’s when I’m going to the hospital for checkup. But of course she won’t let me.

At the hospital, we went straight to the ER. It was around 10:00pm. I was asked to fill in a form then they asked me questions about my condition. They got blood samples. They still needed urine and feces sample but I can’t provide one yet. After 45 minutes they had my blood result. As expected I have a slight anemia. After that I was able to urinate, so we again waited for the urinalysis.
My sis asked the nurse if I could be given medicine for my fever. She was able to bought Tempra so I took that one. I was really tired, sleepy, cold and sick so I got to take short naps. Good thing we brought a blanket, just in case I was advised to be admitted. My urinalysis result took so long and they kept on asking me my last menstrual period. It scares me a lot!!!

I was able to give them feces sample also by 11:00pm. The urinalysis result shows that I have traces of UTI. But it’s not that significant. While the fecalysis shows that I have acute gastroenteritis. Lucky for me, I don’t have amoeba or salmonella in my system. The doctor prescribed me 3 kinds of medicines. First is Racecadotril for the diarrhea to be taken up every 8 hours until the diarrhea stops. Second is Ciprofloxacin, antibiotic for the bacteria. This one is every 12 hours and it really has a bitter taste. The last one is just a Paracetamol for the fever. I was advised not to eat dairy products and oily foods. I should also include in my diet banana and apple and drink lots of fluid. I was advised to drink also water with orosol. It has a weird taste. Believe me!!!
Joan’s nurse’ friend was convincing me to have myself confined in the hospital. But I fear the dextrose so much that’s why I preferred to rest at home. Saturday feels like hell! I still have a fever, I was in and out of the john, my pupu was watery, my stomach hurts so bad, I can’t eat, if I ate I will vomit and the medicine taste soooo BAD!!! It almost felt like dying! I was afraid it never gonna stop. My Mom would wake me up for my medicine or if I’m about to eat. My sis will take my temperature. It was how hellish the sickness was.

Sunday, I don’t have the fever anymore, so I cut on the Paracetamol. My pupu was not watery and the trip to the john was not that frequent. I still stayed on the bed the whole day.
Monday, I was feeling a little okay. I was able to get out of bed. My Mom even let me eat fried fish. I stopped taking the medicine for diarrhea. But by midnight, I again felt my stomach was acting funny. My pupu was still not okay. I took my medicine again for the diarrhea just to be sure.

Early this morning, I told my Mom that I still have to stick to my diet. I’m only taking one medicine, the antibiotic. It will be until Friday. I hope I’m okay now. I’ve lost a lot of weight and I still feel week. Mom told me to still stay home tomorrow. But I’m not yet sure. I just wish that I’m cured now.

When I get better I will eat fried chicken, pasta, pizza, fries, icecream, drink coke but I guess alcohol will not be consumed for along time… :)

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dElEtEd phOnE nUmber...

I’m not sure if you are telling the truth…


How could you not save the number that I have been using for months to text and call you? You even used that number to text me. Now you’re telling me that it was my old number that you have saved on your phone.


Somehow my number got deleted again…


I just don’t know what I did this time…

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thE rEAdEr... thE wrItEr...

“Anyone who doesn’t write doesn’t know how wonderful it is “

I remember this line when I’ve watched “The Reader”... I was fascinated by the way Hanna Schmidt, played by Kate Winslet, taught herself how to write.

I can’t remember who taught me how to write my first letter. Maybe, it was my Mom. But what I can remember is I can’t spell the word beautiful right. I have to syllabicate it every time I have to spell it, until now! I would go BE-A-U-TI-FUL. Same with receive, believe and separate. I also can’t pronounce “ANG, MGA and NANG” in taglog. I would say ey-en-gi (read it in English alphabet). My mom had to buy me ABAKADA in order for me to learn those words. That was the first book I’ve read.

From then on I’ve started reading books. I would read all my textbooks even before the school starts. When we went to my Aunt’s house I saw a copy of “The Diary of a Young Girl by Anne Frank”. But I did not have a chance to finish the book. I just got to the part when she named it Kitty. That’s when I started writing my own diary.

When I began reading Sweet Dreams and Sweet Valley High pocketbooks I tried to write love stories. I also wrote some poems. Then, when I met a friend in college we decided to write a story about us and our crushes in school. But mostly she did the writing. I just gave her the plot and other details.

I’m not that confident in my writing, I’m afraid that anyone who will read what I wrote will criticize me. I know that my grammars were wrong and my commas were not in the right places. But I don’t want to deprive myself with this privilege.

In the movie, Hanna was not able to defend herself because she was afraid to let everyone know that she was illiterate. She was convicted for life sentence. When she was in prison an old friend send her voice tape. This old friend reads to her different kinds of books. Because of her desire to write to this person, Hanna taught herself to write. She borrowed a book in the prison library, the same book that was read to her in one of the voice tapes. She listened to it while she encircled the words on the book until one day she was able to write a simple note to her friend.

Writing and reading are two of the most important thing that we always take for granted. We did not know that it is power. That if we could both read and write people won’t be able to fool us so easily. We could create things when we write. We could gain knowledge when we read. 

That is the reason why I started this blog. I want to continue reading and to write not only what I read but also what I’ve seen and experienced. I would continue doing this for myself just like what Anne did…

“And if I haven’t any talent for writing books or newspapers articles, well, then I can always write for myself.”
- Anne Frank

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my Own hEnry rOth...

Describe who do you want to meet:

Someone who would make me fall in love with him 24/7.

I used to put this in my Friendster profile. It was inspired by one of my fave chick `flick, “50 First Dates”.

It was a story about a guy named Henry Roth (played by Adam Sandler) who is afraid of commitment. But that changes when he finally meet Lucy Whitmore (Drew Barrymore). They met in a local cafĂ© and really enjoy each others company. The only problem is the next day Lucy doesn’t remember him. She suffers from a short-term memory loss caused by a car accident a year earlier. She only remember things that happened before the accident.That’s why he can’t remember ever meeting Henry. But this did not stop him. He made her fall in love with him all over again, each and every single day.

For me, it was one of the most romantic film!!! It made me wonder if someone like Henry still exist today... It’s not easy making someone fall in love with you and to do it every day is really impossible! You must be insane to be that hopeful about love. Especially, nowadays that people take love for granted. We always want someone to love us but we don’t do anything about it. We just sulk all day thinking and wishing of what would have been. We would just hope, pray and wait for our love to be reprocicated.

It’s a different scenario for those who are in a relationship. At first, it was all hugs and kisses, flowers and chocolates and lots of sweet-nothings. Until they get tired of each others company. Or sometimes they get used to the idea of being a couple that they just let things happen.

I want to meet someone like Henry Roth… I want someone who would make me fall in love with him every single day. Someone who would make my heart skips a beat everytime we see each other. Someone who would do crazy and unexpected things for me. Someone who would want me to love him forever.

And as much as I want to meet my Henry Roth, I want also to be that kind of person to someone...:)
 

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AnO dAw yUn?

Paano mo nasabi na sa’yo siya? Kelan pa nangyari ‘yun? Sa palagay mo ba naniwala siya sa iyo nu’n? Malabo siguro…
Hindi mo naman kasi siya pinapahalagahan. Palagi mo lang sya binabalewala. Kaya hindi mo sya masisisi kung ganun ‘yung naging reaksyon niya.
Nakita ko yung pagkagulat niya sa sinabi mo. Alam niya kasi wala naman siyang halaga sa iyo. Alam niya hinding-hindi mo siya magugustuhan.
Nakakalungkot nga e. Halos lahat nagsasabi na bagay kayo. Kaya lang kayo namang dalawa ang ayaw. Nagkukunwari kayo na wala lang kayo. Pero meron naman talaga. ‘Yun nga lang mukhang naggagamitan na lang kayo. Pano na kayo ngayon?...
Paninindigan mo ba iyong sinabi mo sa harap ng mga kaibigan mo? Nasaktan ka ba sa naging sagot niya?
Kung say iyo na siya…kanya ka na ba?
Sana hindi ka lang nagiging selfish. Paano kung ayaw mo lang kasi siya ipamigay kasi nga gusto mo lang na sa iyo siya, pero ikaw pagmamay-ari pa rin ng iba? Hindi ba dapat lang na palayain mo na siya?
Siguro dapat bago mo siya angkinin na iyo, patunayan mo muna sa kanya na kanya ka na nga. Buong-buo, walang kahati… walang kaagaw.

Baka sakaling maniwala na siya…

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InUmAn sEssIOns...

Day 1 - April 17, 2009 (Mint @ The Fort Strip)

Technically, it’s still Eva’s Bday. After office hours, Eva, Ehloi, Gelai and I went to Mint at The Fort Strip. I have not been drinking for awhile now but when I got hold of the cold beer I kept asking for more. But it was already late and the bar was about to close. So, we only had 3 bottles each. But I had 3 1/2 bottles ‘coz Gelai can’t finish hers. I liked their Dinakdakan, recommended by Ehloi. But I’m so bitin! I want more beer!!!

Day 2 - April 18, 2009 (Kankaloo & Gerardo’s Bar in Panay)

Since i was so bitin the other night, I decided to go out on Saturday night. I almost spend the night at home ‘coz he texted me sooo late in the evening. I would have have a hard time asking permission from the oldies. But since i’m so thirsty(for an ice cold beer) and BORED, I still went out. W/o the permission, coz they’re both asleep (lucky me!). I had 1 1/2 bottle of Sanmig lyt at their house. I finished his beer for him. That has been my role the past few days… Tirador ng bawas na Beer!!!

It was really awkward! First, he was not there to meet me. He’s in the john and his two buddies were there who were not aware that I’ll be crashing in their session. Plus the fact that I had this big crush on his bestfriend. But just like what I’ve said, “HAD”. Past tense…

Okey, going back I juz listen to them talk about this girl we both know and I butt in once i awhile. After he’s done ‘magpaganda’ and we finished all the beers we went to Timog. He brought this car which according to him owned by their neighbor and it juz being parked at their garage. But of course I didn’t believe him. Neways, I made him choose the place as I have not been going out that much. We went to this place called ‘Gerardo’s” in Panay Avenue. According to him is open ’til 5am and it’s the popular hang out for call center agents.

Since I’m in so much luck that night we again, run into his buddies. So, we got the usual tuksuhan, that it was really impossible to have a conversation ‘coz we have an audience. But I still enjoy the night. My goal was to get drunk and I guess I was really drunk ‘coz i had a hangover the next day and I can’t seem to remember that he was with me… Ooops! sorry…

Day 3 - April 21, 2009 (Some Shawarma place in Edsa Central)
 
After a boring and useless day in the office, Gibs and I decided to have a drinking spree in Edsa Central. The usual 3 bottles each, 4 am curfew time ended in 5 bottles and 6am in the morn. The mahabahabang kwentuhan needs a mahabahabang inuman. Gibo was the story-teller and I was the attentive drunk listener with side comments. But I can’t tell you the whole story ‘coz he will literally kill me. We just missed Cris. So, i set up a date with her on Saturday. We will go out eventhough it’s just the three of us. I got really drunk and was lucky to get home alive… what’s new?!

Day 4 - April 24, 2009 (Central Bar @ Pioneer)

It was the initiation rite for Ryan and Rio. The newbie in Americas. Ryan was the one who brought us to this place in Pioneer. We were looking for a new hang-out place that still open ’til morning ‘coz we always got out of the office at around 1 am and usually the places we went to are about to close. So, we decided to try this one out.

So, off we went there. And I’m glad we went. The place is juz an ordinary drinking place. With rows of tables and chairs, loud music, cheap beer and cheap pulutan. There was a big crowd that night. We even had pictures taken with EB Babe Madel. Since, i’m with a young crowd everybody was makulet and carefree. Rio even started a game to make the inuman more exciting.

So, off we went there. And I’m glad we went. The place is juz an ordinary drinking place. With rows of tables and chairs, loud music, cheap beer and cheap pulutan. There was a big crowd that night. We even had pictures taken with EB Babe Madel. Since, i’m with a young crowd everybody was makulet and carefree. Rio even started a game to make the inuman more exciting.

We finished up 5 buckets of san mig lyt, 3 pitchers of “bad trip” (a mixed drink that is the especialty of the place) and for our plulutan, a platter of chicken salpicao and variety of chicken intestine, gizzard and pork bbq. We stayed until 5am. Actually, the bouncers were asking us to leave ‘coz we are the only one left there. Pasaway talaga!

We got drunk, we had fun and we paid cheap. Not bad for a Friday night out…

Day 5 - April 25, 2009 (Kuwago’s Bar @ Pioneer)

Though still recuperating from last nyt’s drinking spree, Gibs and I met up with Cris and Jen for another session. Gibo wanted to see a band, I just wanted to eat pasta and hopefully be able to survive the night. So i dediced we go again to Pioneer and try the bar there that I saw last Friday. We’re supposed to meet at 10pm but it rained, so i was too tired to go out. I met up with them at Tapa King’s in Edsa Central around 11:30pm. After I had my pasta and met with Jen, we headed out to Pioneer. At first we thought there’s no band. And we’re thinking we chose the wrong place ‘coz the music was too loud! It was impossible to have a conversation and it was sooo dark!. But the food and beer are also cheap.
 
The place is called Kuwago’s Bar. I heard it before in the radio. There was one in Makati Avenue and another in Malate. The one in Pioneer is like a two-story nipa hut. Adorned with banka’s and sagwan. Suddenly, I miss Manila bay and rowing. I juz can’t figure out why there’s a mini airplane on the ceiling. It’s sum kinda off with the theme.

Anyways, we found out later that it was an acoustic bar. The performers are JJ and Momo. They fraternal twins with great talents. I’m really amazed on them especially with JJ ‘coz she plays the guitar really well. Plus the fact that they know a lot of new songs and can really sing and play it well. And they sung the songs with passion. I would definitely watch their other gigs.

Rio was supposed to follow us. But he was in marikina and I guess he got really drunk that’s why he didn’t make it. As for the four of us, we just had 4 bottles each. 4 1/2 for me coz I’m the official ‘tirador ng bawas na beer”. This time it’s gibson’s beer. We went to KFC Edsa Central for breakfast then went our separate way home.

…for next week I’m not sure if there will be another drinking session. But alcohol is still flowing in my veins. I guess i’ll rest for this week. But one can never be too sure...

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