nAmpUchAng lAyf nI lEn

Yesterday, I texted a friend and asked her if we can have dinner. Unfortunately, she had other plans. So I just stayed home and watched rented films. Then she texted me this afternoon… telling me about the plan of a get-to-together with the barkada this coming weekend. As much as I wanted to see her ‘coz we haven’t seen each other for months I decline the offer. I don’t want to be with too many people right now. I just want to be with a few selected friends…Those that I can really talk to and be who I really am. I’ve started my hide-and-seek game again. The usual not returning of phone calls/texts, not answering e-mails, no-show on special occasions. I’m just not into the bonding mood right now. So I’m doing the underground…

For months I’ve only seen one friend… It just happened that he was at the right place at the right time. So, when I texted him, he arrived immediately. But of course, the group I’m with that night suspected that he is my BF (Haha! Need to tell him about that so we can both have a good laugh).

That night I really needed someone to explain things to me. Why life is such a bitch and why I’m such a mess?!!! Haha! I always asked him that question before… funny that I’m asking him the same question again. Then it hit me. I already know the answer. It was the same answer he gave me four years ago. Maybe I just wanted him to remind me of everything that we have talked about before… About life and all the shit(!) while we’re drowning ourselves with bottles of beer. It was nice seeing him again. He still is my confidante and my critic. And that’s just what I needed. Someone who will listen to me, give me advice, correct me when I’m wrong, criticize me and not patronize me. Once again I was saved… by him.

Although we seldom see each other I know that when life is throwing its worst prank on us we will be there to help each other out. But I still have hope that one day we will be drowning ourselves with beer, not anymore bitching about life but celebrating it. After all we’re both choosing life… that’s what Mark Renton taught us and that’ s what he told me before and still telling me now.